The New York Times recently reported on the “vajayjay,” or the nickname for a vagina, that sprang into the popular lexicon after being featured on “Grey’s Anatomy” and “The Oprah Winfrey Show.” Shonda Rhimes, the creator of “Grey’s Anatomy,” decided to use the nickname after facing resistance from the Federal Communications Commission, which regulates media decency standards.

“I had written an episode during the second season of ‘Grey’s’ in which we used the word vagina a great many times (perhaps 11),” Ms. Rhimes wrote in an e-mail message. “Now, we’d once used the word penis 17 times in a single episode and no one blinked. But with vagina, the good folks at broadcast standards and practices blinked over and over and over. I think no one is comfortable experiencing the female anatomy out loud — which is a shame considering our anatomy is half the population.”

Rhimes was not alone in her reluctance to use a nickname for female anatomy. According to the article, Eve Ensler argued long-ago in “The Vagina Monologues” that “what we don’t say becomes a secret, and secrets often create shame and fear and myths.” Vagina, her widely performed series of monologues declared, is too often an “invisible word,” one “that stirs up anxiety, awkwardness, contempt and disgust.”

In a recent post that I wrote, one of sex therapist Dr. David McKenzie’s tips for parents talking to kids about sex was to use correct terminology. He said parents with good intentions sometimes use nicknames, but that it actually makes it more difficult for kids to comfortably ask questions about their bodies as they mature.

Meanwhile, Dr. Carol A. Livoti, a Manhattan obstetrician and gynecologist, said in the New York Times article that euphemisms and slang for women’s body parts can render women incapable of explaining their symptoms to health professionals. But in the article, Geoffrey Nunberg, a linguist at the University of California, Berkeley, and the chairman of the usage panel for the American Heritage Dictionary, said there was a need for a pet name, “a name that women can use in a familiar way among themselves.”

How do you think nicknames affect sex education and discussions about maturing bodies? Also, what do you think of the suggestion that the FCC has a double standard in its decency standards, coming down more heavily on the use of “vagina” than “penis”?

You can read blogosphere discussions, including postings on The Huffington Post and Boing Boing.

Watch a comedic “Talk Soup” video that includes the clips from “Oprah” and “Grey’s Anatomy” in which “vajayjay” was used:

Dr. David McKenzie, a marriage and sex therapist in Vancouver, Canada and Washington State, provides tips to Fox News about how to talk with children about sex.

DO:

• Allow children to set the pace by answering their questions in an age appropriate manner. Sex education can really start at any time.
• Utilize good literature, such as story books, to read to children at a very early age (as young a four or five years) where human sexuality is explored in very simple, child-like ways

DON’T:

• Close the door to open and honest discussion early on, which happens when parents use “birds and bees” terminology, even though they have the best intentions. Use correct words for each body part, otherwise children will not be as comfortable asking questions about their bodies as they grow up. Concepts can still be simplified and accessible to children while naming body parts by their real name.
• Ignore questions from your child about sex. But do not give more information than the specific information they are asking for, unless necessary to answer the question.
• Miss an opportunity to teach by not answering a child’s questions at all. Every question is an opportunity to teach and, by not answering, children will think parents can’t be approached.

Additional resources for parents (including both some comprehensive and some abstinence-only guides) include Advocates for Youth’s online Sex Ed Center, parenting Web site Kidsgrowth.com, Dr. Spock.com and Notmenow.org.

Virginia has stopped funding abstinence-only sex education programs, according to the Washington Post. Virgina Gov. Timothy M. Kaine cited recent studies finding that teenagers should also be taught about birth control and condoms to protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

Delacey Skinner, Kaine’s communications director, said the governor believes that effective sex education programs must include information about contraceptives as well as abstinence.

The article says Virginia is the 14th state to reject abstinence-only education. The other states that have rejected federal funding for abstinence-only programs are California, Colorado, Connecticut, Maine, Massachusetts, Minnesota, Montana, New Jersey, New York, Ohio, Rhode Island, Wisconsin and Wyoming.  You can read more background about Title V, the federally-funded abstinence-only education.